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Tiptoeing Through The Tulips
Just misc malarkey about my experiences here and online in general, for whatever it's worth.
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Today's Frustrations
Posted:Jun 24, 2021 4:47 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2021 10:52 pm

Let's see. . . . . .what's giving heartburn as of TODAY?

Somebody I care very deeply about had to make a business trip to South America, and although she promised to stay in touch via texts and/or this site's messaging, hasn't responded to numerous outreaches on my part, so, not wishing to seem desperate, I've more or less suspended trying to reach her in the hopes that I WILL soon hear from her. . . .

Today, at my job of driving , I had numerous close calls from other motorists and a few pedestrians blithely strolling across Main Street in Hyannis. Those close calls include one idiot in a brand new blue pickup truck who decided to back down a driveway into the street I was traveling at 40mps down when I was around fifty yards from them; I swerved to the left, narrowly missing incoming traffic, dodging the SOB Motherfucker by an estimated six inches or so.

I found out that one of my smaller aquariums had a massive die-off this afternoon, leaving just a juvenile blue lobster crayfish and one tiny least killifish as its sole residents.

In the main tank, there was an algae bloom recently which claimed 15 out of 15 fish. This has been corrected, fortunately, and I am not sure if or how I will restock this aquarium.

I haven't slept for 8 hours straight in god only knows how long, and the VA, in it's infinite wisdom has discontinued my sleeping pill prescription, but INCREASED my ED medication. Makes me wonder just where their priorities are. . . .lol.

My beloved wife put in another fourteen-hour day in her home office, so dinner this evening was leftover Chinese delivery food from last night. Good thing I'm not a picky eater!

It was STILL quite tasty, however!

The weeds and other noxious plants in what passes for my backyard have to be over feet high because our erstwhile landlord, while demanding prompt payment of our rent, tends badly neglect the outside of our duplex and our neighbor, being a lazy bitch, doesn't want help. Since my wife has horrendously bad knees and I have a bad back, we gave out landlord the lawnmower, with a promise that the yard would be kept up using this machine. That was ago. . . . . .

Cape Cod has a chronic affordable housing shortage, so we're NOT in a position bitch.

Oh, well, Bunny Rabbit and Tom the wild turkey have plenty of cover now, as do the other little critters inhabiting the local countryside.

Life goes on, STILL!
The Bike
Posted:Jun 24, 2021 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2021 10:56 pm
Long, long ago, when I was in the Army, stationed in an armored cav unit just fifteen miles or so from the East German border (during the Cold War), I decided that I deserved a fine bicycle, preferably a Schwinn from Bob's Schwinn Cyclery in my home town of Fort Walton Beach, Florida, so I sent Bob a letter with a certified check for the entire amount of around $300, an entire month's for a PFC back in 1978. He specially ordered a Schwinn Superior tenspeed sports-touring bike, glossy black, with chromed fork tips, quick release wheels (a first for me), downtube shifters, centerpull brakes, leather saddle, and quill pedals equipped with toeclips.

Bob was a good guy, so he stored the bike in his shop's back room for me until I send home on leave and picked it up.

It was love at first sight, and I named the bike Wraith, then, having suffered a broken heart courtesy of Holly Lundstrom, a beautiful red-haired girl I had a crush on, I headed east on US98 to try outriding my sorrow. Ended up making a 150 mile loop in just under ten hours, with a decent load, my longest daily bike ride ever (it stands to this day as my personal best).

Not trusting my mother to store the bike (sad, but I had more than adequate reasons for this at the time), I had Bob keep Wraith, now also equipped with a genuine Blackburn alloy rear rack, until I PCS (Permanent Change of Station) from Germany in December of 1979, boxed up and ready for shipment to my next post.

This turned out to be Fort Riley, in north-central Kansas, so, forsaking grass and booze almost entirely, I focused on riding Wraith long distances (including an 850 mile tour of southwest Kansas/Oklahoma panhandle).

This was my form of escape from the stupidities of military life at the time.

On a visit to a friend in the small town of Wakefield (800 people, 300 of which were Army), I was introduced to Patty Keith, a co-worker of his new wife. We fell in love and were married in December of 1980, seven months before I got out of the Army.

To make a long and bitter story short, I was forced to sell Wraith in Tacoma, Washington for the price of McDonalds happy meals, and a weeks rent in a cheap hotel (the Merkle) in downtown when my brother in law kicked us out of his apartment on suspicion of theft from my oldest sister Pam. . . .

So, for decades I searched for a 1976 Schwinn Superior that actually fit me. A year or so ago, I located a basket-case, and begged my current wife for the funds to purchase it, which I named Shado. Shado now sits, in the process of being restored for eventual sale because, despite being assured by the former owner that it would fit, the frame turned out to be several inches too large for me.

Anyway, I have been working on fixing my credit, and about months ago or thereabouts, PayPal extended credit up $2200, so I immediately searched eBay for a black Superior that DID fit me, and, much my eternal delight, DID find one I could afford using the credit line. It arrived one sunny day this past March, and I immediately replaced the standard pedals with larger ones for my wide feet, a Brooks B-17 hand made English saddle, then added a small seatbag, handlebar bag, heavy duty lock, and a cycle computer.

This bike was named Spooky, after a famous gunship aircraft (AC--47) of the Vietnam War.

Spooky is now sitting in a place of high honor, just begging have her tires aired pressure, seat and handlebars adjust, and then RIDDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, it's been several since I've ridden more than around the block, so I'm quite unsteady, thus have used excuse after excuse NOT enjoy this Way Cool (she's GORGEOUS!) 46-year classic bicycle the way she's absolutely begging do.

Well, those excuses have worn thin, and weather permitting, I have SWORN FINALLY install the bike carrier on one of our cars, load up Spooky, then drive a very short distance a local bike trailhead and RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait. She's going be the COOLEST bike EVER grace the Cape Cod Rail Trail!


Life goes on.
For Whatever It's Worth. . . .
Posted:Jun 23, 2021 4:58 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2021 2:54 am

D. and I worked out our differences last night, and are back together, stronger than before. We've spent most of the day texting, in fact. Somehow it seems neither can get enough of the other one.

I STILL plan to meet him soon, hug, kiss him passionately, and eventually give myself to him completely.

I've read in other blogs here, and been told outright that 'it's impossible to really love somebody online!'


Love is when somebody elses' happiness is as important to you as your own. Just that simple.

Or so I was taught, anyway, a very long time ago in a world that no longer exists, where things like Love, Honor, Duty, Common Sense, Intelligence and Maturity (all now obsolete today, it seems) were valued.

To ME that's the ONLY way to be!

I love you with all my heart, D. Soon with all my chubby old body, as well.

I know you love me, and that makes my heart sing.

Eleven ago, I met another person online and we fell in love madly. This past April, we celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary,. We're still going strong!

So yes, I KNOW love online is not only possible, it's exhilarating!

Vive lamor!
1 comment
Not My Day
Posted:Jun 22, 2021 2:41 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2021 1:11 pm

For several weeks now, my 'best friend' here and I have texted several times a day, and those texts have really helped me on my journey forward as a human being.

TODAY, however, he hasn't responded to FOUR texts, but HAS been online here, and as of this writing, hasn't responded to contact attempts using this venue either.

During the past month or so, we've been planning to meet at his place 50+ MILES AWAY on weekend after weekend, but for one reason or the other, our plans have fallen through at the last minute.

This Saturday was supposedly set in concrete, but the longer I'm ignored, the less I want to make the hour and a half drive to his home, only to risk rejection, or worse.

To say I'm confused, hurt, and a bit angry would be accurate right now!

If it continues, I can, and most assuredly WILL take the appropriate actions. No threat. Just fact. I've been down this road many, many times in my six decades on this earth, and have SOPs in place to deal with it.

Scorched earth. Unperson.

Life goes on. . . . .

WE2306,0440---This situation, through the magic of Communication on three fronts (mine, my wife's, and his) has been satisfactorily resolved. Sometimes all it takes is a few well-spoken words to calm a hurricane.
1 comment
The Sacrifice
Posted:Jun 21, 2021 3:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2021 7:19 am

Salvation Army Camp Keystone,
somewhere in south Florida,
June, 1973'
I was fourteen.

negro boys
all much bigger than ,
grabbed from behind,
dragged behind
an wooden building,
jerked my pants down. . .
ripped my shirt off,
and ,
taking turns doing so.

There was a baseball tournament going on,
and I wasn't into sports,
so I stayed behind in the bunkhouse
to read a book
while my bunkmates played.

had watched me
walking on the balls of my feet
since I arrived
a week ago,
and came to the conclusion
that I was queer.

Queer boys
needed to be taught
to fly right
and walk like everybody else!

big black cocks
penetrated that afternoon,
while the band played religious songs
in the background
and the christian god
was busy watching the game.

There was blood on the ground,
semen in my asshole,
dirt all over my body
covering the bruises
on my arms and legs
when a counselor happened by,
saw what was going on
and came my rescue
about an hour too late.

In the end
the black boys
were sent home early,
the scene cleaned up,
I was given new clothes,
and the incident went unreported,
unrecorded anywhere,
except in my soul,
where it cannot be erased.

For decades afterward
I hated black people
with a white-hot passion,
especially negro males. . . .

I'm still not comfortable around them.

The nightmares
still continue for me,
albeit sporadically,
not as intensely as before;
I guess the human soul
can take a licking
and still keep ticking.

aside from my last wedding,
I've never set foot inside a church
since that day,
and I flip off
Salvation Army vehicles and people
whenever I run across them.

The christian god demands its sacrifices,
I get that,
but a fourteen year BOY'S INNOCENCE?

And life, as they say, goes ever onward. . . . .
Welcoming The Rain
Posted:Jun 21, 2021 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2021 2:18 am

Breezes are blowing,
blowing clouds of water;
on my raining,
raining from the ocean!

Breezes are blowing!

----Ditty taught to by Pam, my late oldest sister when I was four.

Pamela Sue Sarasy
She was the best of us all!
Post Drive-In Sit-Rep
Posted:Jun 20, 2021 12:14 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2021 6:19 am
I heard from Elvan, my '' yesterday morning, as I normally do, and she told she was going visit in a week. Yes, she knew she'd need a motel room because our spare room is now my wife's office until further notice (covid), but she just HAD meet me SOON.

I have plans for this weekend with my Master, so I texted her back, and we both agreed that sometime in early August would be better for concerned.

I'm also texting a beautiful, sophisticated Woman closer my age whom I met this site, and although she's a business trip overseas for a week, she, too, reached out to this evening. Much my surprise/delight, but we were just starting the first feature (of two) at the Wellfleet Drive In theater, so she agreed text today in a few hours.

She lives fairly close by and has indicated a desire to meet when she returns from her trip next week.

I don't know if I'm falling in love with her at this point, mainly because I have a few residual doubts (nothing concrete), bit I'm definitely deeply in LUST with her, and yes, I CARE quite a bit about her, even so.

My meeting with Master had to be put off a week, so we're both looking forward, very much, to FINALLY connecting this coming weekend at His place. Hopefully third time's the charm!

There's an Ambassador from this site who has apparently taken at least a passing interest in me, due mainly to my newness here, I suppose, and I really like her messages.

My friend Joy too, reaches out to me more or less daily. I keep up with her blogs religiously.

A woman my own age from a small town in Oklahoma corresponds with me here. We seem to have a bit in common, but she's very much the battle-scarred Survivor and is quite hesitant to really share any deep feelings as of yet. I do, however, have hopes for that changing in the future. . .

If anybody wonders, I AM bisexual, and do welcome contact from Men, but those dick pics gross me out, so I don't dare list myself as seeking other Men officially, as a direct result of the plethora of those profile pictures on this site, as well as the apparent desperation of their owners.

More later as the Motivation hits me.

Life goes on. . . . . .
1 comment
Married Life
Posted:Jun 19, 2021 5:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2021 2:23 pm

Late at night
I'm laying in bed,
naked and aroused
when She comes
and plops down beside me.....

I reach for her,
she pulls back,
because she's had a long day,
and has get up early,
so another time,

That time never comes.

's porn,
cocoa butter
and my right hand
for me,
years at a stretch
because I'm a good husband. . . .

The time passes,
her chubby body
starts fall apart;
the knees go out,
then a prolapse
that never gets repaired.

She can't perform anymore.

She promises lose weight,
finally use the stationary bike
she had have
so long ago,
but. . . .
the bike sits,
gathering dust
forgotten in our living room
except by the cat,
uses the seat as a scratching post.

Then 's the drive-in
where she has be
every weekend
in the summer,
whenever 'decent movies' are playing. . .
's dark,
crowded with Rude People,
after four hours
the car seat
sticks my ass,
and getting home
at two in the morning. . . .

Well, sucks swampwater.

Do this,
do that,
and make damned sure
's done

Use the CPAP machine
that makes my face sweat,
the hearing aids
that hurt my ears
and constantly malfunction
I'm not telling you what do,
just want the best for you!

;Make a mistake,
however small,
and I'll hear about
for endless eons,
but god loves you
and forgives all your sins.

You get the jist.

I love my wife]
most of the time,
but damnit,
I NEED intimacy;
hold a soft body close,
kiss and BE kissed
then spend the night
making love
as if 's no tomorrow.

Porn and cocoa butter have gotten OLD!

"She has a pair of hips,
big as a battleship!
I'll buy her anything
to keep her in style!'

So be .
Posted:Jun 18, 2021 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 9:26 pm
I'm hungry
feed me
i'm thirsty
fill my dish
the litterbox smells
change it

i want play
don't mind
my claws
or teeth
all quite sharp
that i don't mind using


i'm comfy
you step over me

against your leg
because it's time
for my evening treats
so i don't bother you
at dinner

where are they
i want them

in a different place
every time
we turn around

constantly goes
into forbidden places
when we're not around
just because he CAN.

softest fur
you'll ever feel
and he never purrs
out loud
but if you look closely
at his neck
you know he IS.

four years
he's ruled our home
not by intimidation
but because
it's his duty
as a feline!


I'd have it no other way!
The Encounter
Posted:Jun 18, 2021 6:10 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 1:28 pm
After a long drive
I finally arrive at His home. . . . .
nervously I enter the building,
ride the elevator to His floor,
find His apartment,
on the door,
backpack in my other hand.

He answers,
more handsome than I'd imagined,
motions me inside,
closes the door.

I put the backpack down,
take out a black leather Collar
and leash,
then hand to Him
as I slowly disrobe,
to my knees at His feet,
head bowed.

"Good Bitch!"
He fastens the Collar
around my neck,
takes the leash,
pulls it taught,
and guides my face
to His enormous cock,
throbbing. . . .

I serve Him
as best as I can,
but this is my first time
with a Man,
so I'm very nervous,
but He moans with pleasure,
pulls me to my feet,
wraps HIs strong arms
around me,
kisses me passionately;
I respond in kind.

He disengages,
takes the leash,
leads me to His bed,
and has His way with me,
His Bitch. . .
His Lover. . .
His Best Friend,
until we both climax.

Fantasy finally fulfilled!
What I'm Capable Of, Part One
Posted:Jun 18, 2021 3:36 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 5:46 am

A couple of my have trouble getting into and out of my van, so I asked for a stepstool from my supervisors, who told me it might be two weeks before I got one IF The Powers That Be approved it at all, so I went onto Amazon, found a folding one that would support 300+ pounds and ordered it. In two days it was here. This morning, although I'd already called in sick, I got dressed, picked up the stool, and brought it to my van so that those two would have access to it ASAP. That's me all over.

Master and I FINALLY spoke on the phone last night! It was fantastic hearing His voice, and He apparently enjoyed hearing mine. Still glowing from that exchange!

No brag, just fact.

Life goes on.
My Joan of Arc
Posted:Jun 17, 2021 10:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 12:53 am

She knew I was down recently, although we live on opposite parts of the country, so not that long ago, she sent me a long that just about blew me away, then insisted on calling me to make sure I understood how very much she really cares.

She's from another country, has parents still living, but she asked me to please consider her my , and so I have cautiously started to do.

I love this young woman, not sexually or romantically, but how I imagine a proud and doting parent must their eldest offspring.

It may be, for now, just texting, but she's quite successful, and insists that one day soon she'll be visiting my wife and I in person. I can't wait.

I didn't meet her on this site, and perhaps it's gauche of me to brag about her in this forum, but on a day when things really don't look so great, she came to my rescue, and for that I shall praise her to the heavens.

I don't care about many people, having been badly scarred by too many of my fellow humans, but every now and then I do run into one or two that more than make up for the rest!

My '' Elvan, is at the top of that very short list, as is my best friend/Master!

Life goes on. .. .
The Cone of Silence
Posted:Jun 17, 2021 3:24 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2021 6:40 am

I Isolated.
Nobody near
or even far away.

I'm on my own today,
and don't know why. . . .
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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Today's Frustrations (2)author51
Jun 24, 2021 10:44 pm
For Whatever It's Worth. . . . (1)author51
Jun 23, 2021 11:26 pm
Not My Day (2)author51
Jun 22, 2021 10:49 pm
The Sacrifice (2)author51
Jun 21, 2021 11:25 pm
Post Drive-In Sit-Rep (1)author51
Jun 20, 2021 3:02 am
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Jun 19, 2021 10:47 pm
Pussywhipped (2)Tmptrzz
Jun 19, 2021 12:14 pm
What I'm Capable Of, Part One (2)jajo696
Jun 18, 2021 5:56 pm
The Encounter (2)Paulxx001
Jun 18, 2021 8:19 am
My Joan of Arc (3)author51
Jun 17, 2021 11:39 pm
The Cone of Silence (1)author51
Jun 17, 2021 4:41 am